FAQ
Q. I AM IN CRISIS, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
A. If you are in crisis, call 1.800.273.8255. This is the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, a free 24-hour hotline.
If you are having a personal emergency, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. Outside of the U.S., please call your nearest hospital for local resources.
We are not qualified to offer psychological or emergency assistance. We support you in getting that assistance from trained professionals.
This website is a resource for educational and informational purposes only and should not take the place of a skilled therapist or emergency services. We are in no way responsible for the actions of those visiting this site, reading the material, receiving emails or participating in online groups.
Q. IS MY INFORMATION CONFIDENTIAL AND PRIVATE?
A. YES! We will never sell, share or otherwise give away your information.
Q. WHAT RESULTS SHOULD I EXPECT FROM ANY CONTENT HERE or working with you?
A. If we were to promise you anything we would likely be snake oil salespersons. Grief is a tricky opponent. Participating in grief “tending”, engaging in a group, reading blog posts. or doing projects will never remove all the pain - or solve the dilemma that death causes - or "fix" anything. I am VERY sensitive to grieving people and the fact that there are a lot of people out there who take advantage of your very normal and understandable desire for easy or quick relief from the pain you are feeling.
However.
There is something that we observe that grows in such work and it might be defined as "personal power." People start to be empowered by their grief stories, empowered as their isolation is broken… and we see freedom of heart unleashed for many who engage in this kind of work. This kind of work, particularly in tandem with therapy can have remarkable results.
Q. WHAT KIND OF GRIEF or losses DO YOU work with?
A. Unlike other kinds of leaders in the grief community, we are grief generalists. That is because we ourselves have experienced a wide range of losses and have sat with numerous grievers over the years. We want to hear from you if you have lost anyone you have been emotionally bonded to: spouses, life-partners, romantic relationships ("official" or not), mentors, parents, children, partners, friends, family members. This may be through illness, accident or suicide or be unsolved. Also, this kind of work can be extremely powerful for those experiencing fertility issues, miscarriage and still-births.
Bonds with the departed might feel positive or negative… and there is no judgement here. Grief can be a really rough go, especially if aspects or the whole of it has never been acknowledged or are complicated with other feelings.
People that have experienced multiple losses, particularly at the same time, are welcome. Sometimes experts call that: "complicated grief." We just see the grief of our ancestors, it is nothing that surprises us.
We prefer to be grief generalists because we observe that our ancestors did not cordon themselves into such micro-groupings as moderns do. Moderns start breaking into age groups in day-care and preschool, start breaking into socio-economic groups by geography and so on. Then, in grief, we keep groupings of age, socio-economic and circumstance. We believe that the culture is less rich for it.
If grief will ever be culturally understood... it will need to travel outside of secretive places, through smaller cohort groups and eventually be carried by powerful people who speak their truth out into the general public. We are seeding the latter.
But, you do not have to be there yet, or even have a vision or dream for that. No worries.
Your personal power awaits you.
Q. DO I NEED TO BE SEEING A THERAPIST WHILE working with you?
A. Not all participants will need a therapist because all people are different and all losses are different. As well, technically, there is no way for us to verify that you are under psychological oversight. We would highly recommend having qualified, in-person support appropriate to your concerns, even if it is a short-term course of therapy. We highly recommend EMDR for a short-term course of therapy for any post-traumatic aspects to your loss(es). We do not make recommendations for therapists in specific, but we are deeply in the grief community and may know of other mentors for you. We also encourage you to Google search for in-person grief support groups, though we have seen some amazing ones and some terrible ones.
Q. IS THIS ONLY ABOUT DEATH - WHAT ABOUT OTHER KINDS OF LOSSES?
A. Not all participants have the same losses but we are all working on issues around existentialism and impermanence. That is to say - yes, it is about death and humanity at its source. That is why we have the name - Alive and Mortal.
You are welcome to translate our words into something relevant for you.
Q. WHAT CAN I EXPECT FROM working with you?
A. Amazing human support. Community and loving-kindness. It is not group therapy. It is a tribe focused activity, in the most true sense of the word, and since this has altogether fallen out of our culture we do not know how to describe it. Try it.
Q. Is it required to be ON FACEBOOK OR PARTICIPATE? I AM CONCERNED ABOUT IT.
A. No. That is the short answer.
Alive and Mortal chose to be on Facebook as a private group.
Individual appointments can be on Zoom, telephone or FB messenger video chat (COVID PRECAUTIONS IMPLIMENTED).
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Q. Whoops! I SIGNED UP FOR A PROGRAM AND changed my mind or i can't participate right now - can i cancel and get a refund?
A. We cannot offer refunds. We offer a lion-share of our program content is self-paced and sent to you up-front - therefore we cannot refund money for what has already been provided to you. We run a really tight and affordable ship here. In the case of emergencies, hospitalization, etc we will take a petition letter to committee. Thank you for understanding.
Consider giving your purchase to a friend or family member who will benefit from this opportunity. Or consider giving it as a scholarship to someone who is financially challenged. We maintain a list of folks hoping for a scholarship.